And the Cherries Came On

23 Jun



And so we began to harvest. I spent a day in our sour cherry trees with the birds and the caterpillar. The methodical nature of harvest has been a gift of time for me to reflect on what has been some crazy-fast, heart expanding, sorrowful time.  Since BE’s attempted trip to Home Depot, life has walked me (and people I love and probably you, who I probably love) through the fires.  

For me its been a Reckoning.  A reckoning with the fact that I agreed to birth a great piece of my heart into human form where it can walk around doing whatever, whenever.  And you may say, “well duh!  Your kid is three now.”  But I find myself constantly astounded to be a mom AND consistently floored by WHAT MOMING IS.  

On my ladder in the cherry tree under the blue sky and bright sun, I had the opportunity to integrate the events of this week and to observe my walk through them. I just kept thinking, “I am a different mom now. i savor.  This life is unpredictable and so I’ve slowed down, I listen better, I savor.”

I have torn open my heart in solidarity with loved ones and I am stronger for it and truly grateful.  First, a lady friend of mine and her beautiful family were shaken to the core when their sweet lil’ three year old died.  Then, my grandmother lost her tether to reality.

It seems that all her suppressed fears bubbled up to the surface and now she’s living them out.  So they moved her to a psych ward hoping they can medicate her into a calmer state.  Not knowing how to help her, I started singing to her.  I’m in Oregon, she’s in Connecticut, so my songs must travel on wind and sunbeams alike.  I sing my gratitude to her.  I sing this chapter to be a short one.  And I sing for her to find peace.  I don’t know where this singing came from.  But it felt really good.  I’ve never sang mantras before, but now I do.  With focused intention and reverence, I sing.

And I sing millions of blessings to my friends as they bury and survive their child. I suspect I will sing for them always. This week, I have witnessed their power, their passion, and the STUFF they are made of. I see them MOVE THROUGH this raging storm.  And I see hundreds and hundreds of people, each in their own way, sing them through.  And everyone is celebrating their boy completely. Koa was offered back to the earth with the same grace, power, determination, wisdom and reverence that they brought him in with.  Never have I seen anything so raw and so beautiful.

What I know best is my own journey here in Earth.  My life has been gorgeous and tragic simultaneous.  I know that each person has their own version of this.  That no one can be protected from it.  That everyone is someone’s baby, yet no one’s baby is truly theirs.  And that while she may feel like an extension of myself at times, BE is her own person on her own path. This lil’ kid portion of her journey is fast, furious and fantastic!  And I am super lucky to witness and guide her through it.

Meanwhile, cherries on the stove must simmer lightly, with lemon, for hours.  I am elbow deep in a week long cherry processing adventure, heart deep in the writing of this blog and completely grateful to have learned to sing love songs.  




5 Responses to “And the Cherries Came On”

  1. Marla Love June 23, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    Love you Liz! Just beginning to understand the “moming” experience myself. It’s huge & precious & scary!! And my baby is just beginning to be mobile… Keep singing! Thank you.

  2. Ana Neff June 23, 2012 at 8:43 pm #

    Thank you for writing this. It is so moving and powerful. Yes Yes Yes! to all your wisdom and passion. I am so glad that you are singing. I will do the same today, inspired by you. Humans are freakin’ amazing. The capacity of our hearts an souls is truly, utterly, indescribably amazing.

  3. Paige Morse June 24, 2012 at 6:10 am #

    yay, now you can sing to Be like you always wanted to. yeah, it doesn’t get any easier, truth. grateful for your song.

  4. jaymie June 24, 2012 at 7:32 am #

    I just erased this really long comment. But really what I want to say is Thank You for being You. So much of what you share touches me on a personal level, helping me feel and trust that my experience are universal….

  5. uberherbalmama June 24, 2012 at 7:21 pm #

    Wow. it is just amazing to be received by such incredibly strong and inspiring ladies…. i really appreciate you all taking the time to read this and to comment. Keep an ear to the wind and rain today, if you hear something slightly off key, well… that’s probably me!

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